Miracles

DIAGNOSIS: END STAGE RENAL FAILURE PROGNOSIS: FULL-ON MIRACLE HEALING

The porch of our family home in Idyllwild is the photograph for this blog. It was a place to sit contemplating big decisions and savoring moments of solitude. It lives in my memory now, a part of the collective of our life together.

I’ve been dancing through different stages with the kidney issue for some time now. Fourteen years on an inappropriate

prescription drug left me needing a kidney transplant back in 2008. Through a strong mix of motivation and miracle, I got up to

30% function and maintained a GFR (globular filtration rate, the measure of renal function) until 2016, after my husband and I

relocated to the central California coast.

While Bob developed a series of illnesses, I had my own health challenges including two failed dialysis surgeries in my left

arm. The three years of caregiving my husband through open heart surgery, Parkinsons and dementia yielded lessons in patience,

faith and unconditional love—for both of us.

After the passing of my soul partner in 2019. there were three more years of difficult decisions: the sale of our mountain home, the

reconstruction of the beach home, the strange times of Covid………..

Then came a time of soul searching the summer of 2022 while having informative flashbacks and moving through PTSD.

I had reached a crossroad on my birthday. I learned who and what I truly was— full disclosure on that later.

I had to be in a healing cocoon for a few months before I grew my wings back again.

This time the wings seemed to be made of stained glass on steel. But even steel breaks under pressure. There were many pressures.

I had become a spiritual diamond from hard core coal, yet there was a definite crack in the system. I was reminded of the poetical

message of Rumi and Leonard Cohen…The Crack is the way that the Light gets in.

Stage five symptoms have caused more than a few cracks. However, my path does not include another surgery which will lower

my kidney function with no promise of improving it. I do not choose “status quo” with a few more years of declining function with

a nightly artificial support system. ( I honor those who do choose it but I follow a divergent direction.)

I CHOOSE LIFE FULL ON.

The fear of death does not intimidate me. If it did, my near death experience in 1979 pretty much dissolved that. I share the belief

that the body is an amazing vehicle of the spirit with guidance from an extremely intelligent Source.

I may live alone, but I am not going through this alone. I have been assembling an impressive support team of alternative and

regular doctors, magnificent healers, intuitive therapists, and am receiving the compassionate assistance of the local Hospice of

San Luis Obispo and their wonderful counselors and volunteers.

I have informed my new friends at hospice that I am going to get well, surpassing the normal expectations and becoming the

vibrant being I was meant to be.

I have started up the blogging again for a two fold purpose: to keep an account of my journey to wellness and also to encourage

others to follow their true heart’s desire, to lead them to the joy of life however they picture that.

My picture is still not complete but I have put the pentimento of my scars on the paper and am adding colors daily to the design.

Beyond The “Blues”: Christmas Hope Was Born At Night

Bob’s photo for this blog shows the light shining through the forest of Hurricane Ridge in Washington. Sometimes light comes to us in ways we didn’t foresee.

BEYOND THE “BLUES”: CHRISTMAS HOPE WAS BORN AT NIGHT

Christmas has always been my favorite time of year. Even though some Christmas holidays have been difficult emotionally or financially, I am still convinced the winter holidays are the most wondrous time of year.

The nights are longer, and the winter may seem darker. However, the light that is present in all of us is strong enough to give us hope for the new year and happiness in the moments we have left in this year.

This season has presented multiple challenges for me, especially in overcoming health issues. So many friends and family members are going through difficulties as well. I have found it hard to distinguish what has been making me feel deep sadness off and on during this holiday time. Is it my own feelings or the ripple of emotions from those around me?

Turning within, rather than looking at the world of outer effects, I had a thought: hope is born in the darkest times. Faith lights the candle that is started from hope. That flame guides us until we see there is a brighter dawn.

The Christ child was not born in a comfortable palace during convenient daylight hours. But there was a star above the holy family and a light within the baby. We have the same light.  According to many texts, we also have the same possibility to make miracles.

That’s what I am requesting this holiday season. For my friends and family that are battling cancer and heart problems, I am proclaiming health. For those that are barely making ends meet, it’s time for gainful employment and having pleasant living conditions. For those that are recovering from grief over the death or loss of a loved one, I see them spiritually renewed.

As for the world, we are all connected by invisible energy that becomes visible when our works are driven by thoughts of love. Good thoughts from one heart can heal hundreds of hearts that are miles away.

I’ll just include a closing phrase that sums up all the yuletide possibilities: PEACE ON EARTH. GOOD WILL TO ALL.